A lot of the terrible things we’ve done over the course of many lifetimes, we’ve lied, cheated, killed… were in a certain way important teaching moments on the way to building a successful cocoon. The cocoon that then gives life to the butterfly we are meant to become.
I believe we have to learn to love something 100% while at the same time leaving ourselves open to following our true inner calling. Everything we love could be taken away in an instant. Still, seeing as how it is human nature to give only as much as one is getting, we must go against our own programming to cultivate this fearless love. I’m convinced this is not easy, and probably takes many lifetimes of learning… the hard way.
The idea that you have to sacrifice yourself in war, for example, showing extreme loyalty to a cause, has over the course of lifetimes prepared you to be able to give your life away freely for higher ideals. If you don’t willingly do it, you will probably be forced into it, like being drafted.
Similarly, the idea of being separated from your family, and later of willingly separating yourself from whatever you hold closest to yourself, is preparation over lifetimes to be able to detach yourself from the world to follow your inner guide. This is something we all eventually have to do alone, probably at first quite unwillingly, like being sent to prison, and later more proactively, like filling a position for an overseas job.
Not many of us have the courage to separate ourselves from those we love, especially when we think we will be judged for doing so, but since it is our destiny to one day to become a butterfly, we must practice this separation over and over again until we get it right.
One of the hardest parts of “going on alone,” for me, had been the constant feeling that I have somehow failed others, as a person, as a father, as a son. After many lifetimes of hashing this out, I have finally come to the conclusion that the only person that needs to forgive me is myself. First, for having broken the rules, then for having been afraid to break the rules. Then, finally, for having fallen for the illusion that the rules dictate how much I can love.
Luckily, with every step on the path I have been rewarded with a lovely “inner knowing”… the knowledge that I am waking up from a kind of dream, being guided back towards my higher Self with every step. And that I am loved no matter what happens.
And that’s the kind of feeling that makes the pain of separation not only bearable, but inexistent. In exchange for that separation you are being offered the highest connection possible… with the Infinite.
As John Lennon says, “The more real you get, the more unreal the world gets.”