Addicted to Looking for Love

There’s a funny story about one fish saying to another that he’s thirsty. Water is everywhere around him, but since it’s so ubiquitous he doesn’t even notice it. Imagine a fish spending his whole life convinced that there wasn’t enough water in the world.

Likewise, we convince ourselves that we’re thirsty, that we’re living in a world in which love and approval are in short supply, and that we actively have to compete with others to see Who Is Worthy to receive it. I call this the Eyedropper World. When you live with people who believe this, they are actually able to convince you that this is the Rule of Life. In this world, you have to earn love and approval. You don’t get it for free. It’s not like air, my friend.

In this world, there’s only just a little bit to go around. Like… a nickel’s worth! And you might get stuck in a group where there’s constant fighting over who’s turn it is to hold the nickel. That’s how insane this thinking is. Nonetheless, it’s a scenario built into every movie and TV show – because this Need for More Love is what animates every protagonist and drives every plot. Our default belief is created by what we’ve been exposed to. If everyone tells the fish that he’s thirsty, who can blame him for believing it?

Now, if we were to take any one of us – as a specimen, let’s say – and suddenly place them in a world where love was free, and freely given, and easily available to everyone, they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. They would be like a fish in water. It would be the end of the film. Funny, eh? We are so addicted to chase, and competition, that looking for love is how we spend most of our daily lives. 

But if we are love, and all is love, and we can freely be in love at any time just with life itself, then we would have to come up with a different reason for living. I’m sure that whatever I came up would be better, but since I’m not used to it, I wouldn’t know where to start. Would I just hang out? Would I become lazy? Frankly, I would be sorely afraid, because I wouldn’t have anything to do, or anywhere to go, anymore.


In any case, I’ll probably never find out… as long as I’m addicted to looking for love.

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