Fences

I was talking with Annabel about territory and fences the other day. I think we are all learning to establish (and protect) our boundaries, in some way. We get to, and have to, decide who can come into our lives… and who can’t. Once there was time when we just let everybody come in, but once we raise our own standards a little higher, we also have to raise the bar.

We begin to build fences around ourselves.

At first, the territory is small, because 1) we have to defend it on all sides, and 2) we don’t believe we “deserve” a big territory all to ourselves, and 3) we don’t know who exactly is “good” and who is “bad.” If you rely just on what people say, and allow only people who say “the right things” to come in, then you will only be letting in two kinds of people: Saints and Liars.

Guess what: liars outnumber saints about 1,000,000 to 1.

The Liars are specialists, and will be called in just to do you a big favor. They will be so good at lying, cheating, stealing, and telling you exactly what you want to believe that you, after getting throttled and betrayed for lifetimes, will finally realize the need for a better filtration system.

Sadly, you realize that you just can’t rely on your mind anymore. It’s too gullible.

You’re going to need to develop a sixth sense, the one that sees beyond the words. You need to be able to see into the true heart of others. You need to develop your intuition.

At first your territory will be small, and you will be alone. You have to start at zero. Even your partner and parents shouldn’t be allowed in (remember the ratio of a million to one!). Start slowly. Don’t trust anyone who wants to come in in a hurry. Or people who insist to be let in. Proper vetting takes months, if not years. Patience is actually a dead give-away. Good friends will stay close, even without gifts or compliments, even over long periods of time. They enjoy your company, that’s enough for them.

Those first years are tough, because you never wanted to be THAT alone.

At first, you will be shunned. You will be ridiculed. You will be slandered and exiled.

That’s all part of the test.

You are becoming self-sufficient… not just economically, but also emotionally and spiritually.

Then, miraculously, they start trickling in: your first true friends. One or two will show themselves to be honest (really), to be generous (without expectation), to be loyal (without controlling), to be approving of you (without manipulation).

You will go through tests together. You will discover trust together. You will discover intimacy together, maybe for the first time. You won’t hide your vulnerable side anymore. Instead, vulnerability will become the badge of someone serious who wants to come into your circle… and grow.

Yes, you will grow and feel and cry and empty yourselves out together, empty yourselves of all that wasn’t pure and can’t stand to be in this clean, pure territory that you’re creating. And, together, you will create such a pure place that only pure souls can stand to be around you.

This territory you are creating will become sacred territory. It will become a place where above all, Innate Divinity is honored. And because you are ready to defend it now, to protect it, to honor it and respect it, others will come to see it and to seek refuge there.

And that Loveliness and Honesty in you – the beautiful soul qualities that you found again and finally learned to protect! – will become a model to others now. A fenced-in beacon of light.

A fenced-in beacon of light.