Goodbye, I loved you

Lately I’ve been cleaning out my computer, old photos and photos and projects, thousands of old megabytes clogging it up. As I carefully, ploddingly dragged each outdated folder/album over to the trash can, I couldn’t believe how scared I was.

That is, until I started saying to each one, “Goodbye, thank you, I loved you.” Then they went boldly, softly… with a whisper, almost. “Kerplunk!” went the computer, over and over again.

At a certain point I thought, “Man, this is going well. I wonder if I could just drag the whole harddrive into the trash….” And with this one thought I was stunned into a kind of non-living state, my mouth agape, a solid stupidity coming over me.

“Finally!” some part of me spoke, and I started crying.

It was like the end of a movie, the end of “me”… here within my reach. All that weight, all that history, all that story of myself that used to be sooooo important… I could just let it go now. I didn’t need to throw out the entire hard drive, but just the knowing that I could switched something inside of me.

It was like I was no longer held hostage by the story of my past. I was ready to allow something new: a whole new me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s