If we’re afraid of being abandoned, we attract people who abandon us.
If we’re afraid of being misunderstood, we attract people who misunderstand us.
If we’re afraid of being taken advantage of, we attract people who take advantage of us.
No matter what we do to avoid our fears, it seems we are condemned to attract them, over and over again, until we finally see them for what they are: simple reflections of a long-past traumatic event. These fears can’t hurt us any more, but we don’t know that… until we go THROUGH them enough times to be certain.
So, instead of faulting ourselves for continuously “falling into a trap” we try our best to avoid, we need to accept these reoccurrences as an unavoidable part of the healing process. Instead of blaming ourselves, we should encourage ourselves: “Wow, this last time it didn’t hurt so much. We bounced back faster!”
Then, one fine day, we awake to find that we passed the test; the situation came around again, but this time… the fear is gone.
We’re reclaiming our original fearlessness!