Sooner or later, we all end up with a narcissist – our own personal Judas. Someone we love deeply – a parent, spouse, friend, sibling – will inexplicably steal our dreams and our identities, devalue us, and threaten to leave us if we don’t play by their rules. We’re going to wonder why they didn’t warn us about these people in high school. I know it hurts… a lot.
But it’s not all bad, friends. In reality, it’s just a test… the beginning of a wonderful journey.
After many years of living with a narcissist, I finally healed. I finally stopped hating. I finally saw what the narcissist is and why it comes into our lives: to wake us up spiritually.
We’re being promoted!
Eventually, after the dust settles, when we’re able to get past the bitterness… we might be able to make a quantum jump, of sorts. We might begin to see the whole affair as a kind of metaphor. What if the narcissist is simply an actor that comes to demonstrate our internal conflict… on an outward stage?
If we’re lucky – and strong – after years of blaming, we’ll realize how easy it’s become for us to see our Egos for what they really are. It’s like they’ve been exposed… suddenly we know all their tricks and manipulations (the same ones the narcissist used!). One day, we’ll be able to simply switch the words in our internal monologue from what “they,” the “narcissist” did to “me,” the person… to what my “Ego” has been doing all along… to my “Soul.”
Using this new vernacular, we suddenly see that it is the EGO that gaslights the SOUL, convincing the Soul that it’s stupid, powerless, and dependant. Aren’t we all tired of feeling that we’re always wrong, always to blame? Our Egos tell us that it’s others doing that to us… and we believe it.
And just like with the narcissist, no discussion is allowed. The Ego tolerates no dissent, compromises, or threats to its power. But don’t we all know, deep down, that in fact the Soul is much smarter, much more beautiful than the ego? Who’s keeping us from seeing this? You guessed it. Picture how the Queen treats Snow White. And talk about jealous!
All these things we couldn’t see by ourselves. The Ego deftly hid them from us. It projected everything outside of itself, so as not to get caught. And it would still be getting away with this atrocious behavior… if we hadn’t found an actor to play it out for us in 3D… someone to make the power game visible. When we do this, we’ll know why the narcissist had to enter our lives. Our Souls needed them to wake us up!
We think being betrayed by our best friend, lover or spouse is painful, but that’s just a stepping stone, friends. That’s to help soften the next blow: the realization that our most trusted ally: the Ego, the one we counted on most to protect us – our inner voice! – has been the real culprit all along. Talk about a shock!
But we’re making progress here. Once we start doubting the Ego – not falling for its lies, distortions and diversions – it no longer has any power over us. All it ever had to offer us was anxiety, insecurity, and manipulation… always convincing us we’re not good enough, always making us doubt ourselves. And to think… we would never have been able to figure this out – without years of practice with a narcissist!
Trust that all the power and happiness you’ve been searching for comes from simply shifting your trust from the Ego back to the Soul – exactly as we learned to shift our loyalty from the narcissist back to ourselves.
See this clearly, friends… and set your beautiful Souls free!