“Learn to discipline your emotions, because if you don’t, your enemies will use them against you.”
–Bruce Lee
There are people out there who understand us better than we do ourselves, friends… and they’re not always on our side. A boss, a parent, a frenemy… whoever it is, they find it easy to manipulate us, to make us do anything they want. Often we feel powerless to stop them… but why? Is it because they have some kind of superpower over us? Nope! It’s simply because they are able to use parts of us against ourselves that even we don’t know about. We are unconsciously setting ourselves up for disaster, and they just happen to be in the right place at the right time.
For instance, a lot of us have this little part that worries about what others think of us. That actually sounds like a good trait, doesn’t it?… until we realize the position it puts us in with people who can spread lies against us. If we’re terrorized by even the thought of harmful gossip… all someone has to do to own us is to threaten to reveal something about us. They’ve got us by the shorthairs, as it were.
What about my little part that needs approval? Oh boy, that sure sets me up for a good whacking. It only takes one compliment to buy me out.
And my innocent little fear of poverty? Or of bad health? Or of being a nobody? Just put it in the sales pitch, Bub. I’ll bite every time!
And then there’s my little fear of conflict, hoo-boy. Just raise your voice every now and then, folks… I’ll bow down straightaway!
And let’s not forget my fear of abandonment. Hey, where are you going, dear? Come back… I’ll do anything you want!
Every fear I have is just an invitation to a shyster. They smell the bait a mile away. And it doesn’t matter how much I complain, ask them to stop, or beg for mercy… they just keep coming.
I used to think it was because life was soooo unfair, that these people were being unjustly cruel… and to me, such a nice guy! I took it as personally as it could be taken, playing the victim card to the hilt, but it never stopped them from their dastardly deeds. And why?
Because in reality, they came to teach me something… and I wasn’t going to be promoted until I had learned it. The lesson was quite counter-intuitive, so that’s what I want to share it with you today. The truth is… “they” had nothing to do with it. I hold all the power. I hold all the responsibility.
I Hold The Key.
I had to learn to take their access away from my shadow side. That means I had to shine a light down there, see my own weaknesses, admit them… and correct them on my own. Thanks to these scammers I was able to see them, yes. But it was up to me to understand and correct the situation. That’s what I hadn’t figured out… until I had exhausted all other methods of combat.
It was like I had to make a midnight raid on their arsenal, and take away all the swords they were using to fight me. The next day, when they tried to manipulate me, I finally wasn’t buying. I wasn’t afraid of the threats anymore. I had become immune!
Yes, I can still stay open. I can still feel empathy for them. They will have to meet someone worse than themselves before they decide to change. But that’s really none of my business, is it? I got what I needed out of the relationship. I’ve gotten the swords back, and one thing’s for certain: now that I’ve taken my power back, I won’t be anyone’s victim anymore. No more protruding short hairs.
With head held high, I get to decide from now on what I will do… and what I won’t do. Get used to it, shysters!
Joy Biscuits 