Outside voices mimic inside voices

We all have an inner voice – inherited from our childhood – which can be very discouraging. Many of us were made to believe, for whatever reason, that we were unworthy of love. As we grow older, we continue to believe it’s true… but because it’s hidden so deeply in our unconscious, it’s hard to believe this voice is actually inside us. So we project it onto the “outside,” into others’ voices… then we imagine ourselves unfairly criticized by them.

But wait a minute. Isn’t it uncanny how similar these “outside” criticisms are to what we put up with as children? Others are saying this really mean stuff… and for some reason we keep believing it. When will it ever stop?

It’s almost like we have to hear both voices together (theirs and our inner voice) to get a double-dose… the one which takes the abuse to an unbearable level. This incites us at long last to the real rebellion. We wonder how so many people could know our soft spots (how could they all be in on the joke?)… until we finally look within… the one place we never looked before.

Only after we’ve seen what our own inner voice has been doing to us, how it ruins most of our relationships – especially the one we have with ourselves – do we investigate whether or not what it says is really true. And we discover – amazingly! – that it never was. We were always worthy of love, dadgummit, no matter what others said!

Of course, the moment we stop believing these hurtful inner voices… all the outside voices stop, too. Funny how that works, eh?

We realize that all this time we were simply ventriloquists: we only had to think it for them to say it.

“People will treat you the exact way you treat yourself. So be good to you. Take time for yourself. Rest. Play. Shower yourself with affection, support, and gifts.” — Iyanla Vanzant

(So… let’s start thinking better thoughts about ourselves now, ok?)

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